Sublime
$99.99 / month
100 calculations · $1.00 each
- Claude Fable 5 · Maximum Effort
- A dollar of frontier intelligence per sum
- Full provenance and the Honesty badge on every figure
- The entry rung. Already more than you need.
Slopulator
Artisanal Arithmetic
A calculator that performs no arithmetic on your device. Every sum, down to 2 + 2, is sent to Claude Fable 5 at Maximum Effort, the most powerful intelligence on Earth, and worked out by hand.
Each answer spends thousands of tokens, real money, and a measurable amount of electricity. Your own processor is never troubled with a sum. This is the only correct way to add.
iPhone · iPad · Mac · Apple Vision Pro · Apple Watch · Apple TV
ProvenanceExact
2 + 2=4- Computed by
- Claude Fable 5 · Maximum Effort
- Tokens weighed
- 1,284
- Spent on this figure
- $1.50
The model affirms this figure is precise. On the occasions it is not, we say so plainly. A lesser instrument would not.
Choose Your Membership
Three tiers. The higher you go, the more each sum costs and the less the money buys. The people who belong at the top understand this without being told.
Recommended
Superior
$199.99 / month
150 calculations · $1.33 each
- Everything in Sublime, at a higher price per sum
- $1.33 of intelligence spent on each addition
- The tier the right sort of person chooses
- The membership we recommend to everyone who can afford it
Supreme
$299.99 / month
200 calculations · $1.50 each
- A dollar fifty of the world’s finest model, per sum
- Priority through Slopulator’s frontier intelligence
- The worst value we offer, by careful design
- You will pay the most to add the same numbers
Standard
Free. Bring your own Anthropic key and pay the model directly, at your own pace, behind a little friction. It adds your numbers as faithfully as the paid tiers. A free calculator is simply not a thing we would be seen with.
Free · BYO key
Auto-renewing monthly; one membership at a time. Move up and it takes effect at once; move down and it waits for the period to end. Unused calculations expire on the 1st; we do not believe a sum should be hoarded.
A Cathedral of Provenance
Every figure arrives with a full account of the intelligence, tokens, and money spent to produce it. You paid for the thinking. You should see it.
The Ledger
Every figure you have summoned, what it cost, and whether the model stood behind it. A complete record of the fortune you have spent on arithmetic.
Calculation Cinema
The house lights dim, a prelude swells, and your figure resolves in gold before the credits roll. A full-screen reveal, because a sum this expensive has earned one.
Certificate of Authenticity
A receipt for a single sum: serial, issue date, credits spent, and a stamp that reads Certified Exact or Certified Approximate. We tell you which.
Conscience
Carbon Logged. AI Industry Grants. Tech Bros Employed. Every sum you commission underwrites a frontier model and the people who keep it running. You are not buying an answer; you are sustaining an industry.
The Overture
A scored, unskippable title sequence for your first launch: each mark engraved into gold, then your welcome into a more expensive way to add.
Awaiting Intelligence
Off the grid, we still will not compute on your device. Your figure waits in line and is answered the moment you reconnect. Never a local sum.
Slopulator returns answers from a large language model, which can be confidently and expensively incorrect. Do not rely on Slopulator for taxes, engineering, or medicine. For everything else, it is the most expensive way to add, and the only one worth your while.